If you’re preoccupied with displaying and perfecting face stubble and/or getting your hair to look ever-so tousled and casual, you’re working much too hard. A natural “look” requires a natural “attitude,” which no amount of gel or exactingly calibrated facial hair will produce. In such matters, if you’re trying… you’re failing.
I’m watching TV the other day and there’s Ben Affleck with hair all askew and sporting a stubbled face opining, as if an expert, on issues of considerable import.
So what, Ben, you didn’t have time to shave or comb your mop?
Or no, I get it, a stubbled face and tussled hair is the new de rigueur, manly “look.” Ben, here’s a suggestion: If you want to be taken seriously when holding forth on global issues – and we know you do – then grow up and present yourself like an adult.
Affleck has plenty of pretentious company. Jeremy Piven, famous for his role as the hard-on Hollywood agent in HBO’s “Entourage” series is another culprit, along with Liev Schreiber, the pseudo-stud in Showtime’s “Ray Donovan.” And silliest of all is Kevin Bacon, now 58 years old yet still walking around with his hair tousled just-so and a stubbled face, as if he was 22.
So what, these guys never enjoy the refreshing feeling of a clean shave or a nicely rendered hair comb?
And it’s not just movie stars. It’s everyone, everywhere. Every magazine ad, every television show, every movie, every commercial image, all consistently employ only models who sport this compulsory combo: stubbled face/tousled hair, and often a prominent tattoo or three to enhance their phony street cred. And don’t get me started on tattoos.
So now, every wannabe pretty boy has bought into this happy horseshit, believing somehow that if they maintain a stubbled mug and tousled hair, they’ll look sexy and tough.
Worse still, they actually want us to believe that it’s not deliberate. Just happenstance. That because they’re so incredibly indifferent and busy they scarcely know whether they’ve shaved or combed their hair at all. Indifferent? Ha! Every hair on their sorry heads has a half pound of goo on it and their stubble has been cultivated to within a micro-millimeter.
Haven’t we seen enough of this obvious, phony, macho veneer? These guys aren’t cool and confident. They’re pathetic caricatures reeking with insecurity.