As the former boss of quite a few women, many of whom were easy on the eyes, for the life of me I cannot imagine sexually harassing any of them. And not just because it’s grotesque, abominable, shameful, criminal behavior, but also because it would have been such an embarrassing admission. Where’s your pride, man? I mean if you’re interested in a woman fine, now woo her, court her, convince her. Show her how desirable you are. Make her want you. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be done? That’s how it always was for me. Which didn’t mean I always got the girl. But that was the path, really the only path, you could legitimately travel. And by going about it otherwise, by forcing yourself on someone and using the leverage and power of your position, aren’t you, in effect, saying,
“I know you’d never be attracted to me on the merits so I’m going to coerce you instead.”
I mean, what a thing to unashamedly admit: that the only way you can succeed is by force. Isn’t the benefit of your position enough of a leg up? If a person doesn’t want anything to do with you despite the professional advantages that might follow, well yes, you’ve got a problem, but not one you can solve through coercion.
This does not mean I’m surprised this stuff happens. Of course it happens, and it happens across the board in all businesses, at most all work places. So, okay, vilify that poor slob Harvey Weinstein (Note to Harvey: see my video on the folly of face stubble). You look ridiculous. Maybe if you took a shave you might legitimately attract someone – though, hard to imagine it happening now.
But, again, don’t think this is just a show biz thing. This crap happens at your local post office, on the commuter train you take, at the neighborhood community center. Men are desperate pigs sometimes, who forget their pride, or never had any, who forget, or never knew, right from wrong.
One important sidebar, however. I’m afraid what Donna Karan said in reference to the Weinstein mess, about women sometimes provoking bad behavior, is worth noting. But this is so only because of the unfair, unrelenting pressure society places on women to look sexy. Because women must be nude to be noticed (line stolen from Gloria Steinem) women yield to the daily tsunami of “look-like-this” images that assault their every sense 24/7. The preposterously uncomfortable shoes, the makeup, the nails, the hair styling, the skin care, the cleavage, the short, tight skirts. A hideous daily assault, with never a surcease. And it starts early. Just go to your local high school dance and see how provocatively the girls look and how the boys look like bums.
The most intelligent, attractive women I’ve known, dressed down. Smartly, creatively, stylishly, but without projecting their body parts. Indeed, maybe concealing them a bit to be sure about what message they were sending. They knew that if they wanted respect from others, they had to start by showing respect for themselves. Experienced men and women also know that even consensual office romances are a bad idea. It’s a big pond out there. Keep your powder dry, avoid being compromised at work, and fish elsewhere.
That all said. Sexual predators are mutts and should be shunned and severely punished.